Orang kayak gitu gak usah dilayanin, cuekin aja. Kalo dilayanin, artinya kita sama aja kayak dia. Doa aja abis sholat, sebut namanya, terus doa "Ya Allah, bukalah pintu hati (nama orangnya) agar dia sadar apa yang telah terjadi sebenarnya. Bukakanlah pintu kebenaran untuknya..."- My Grandma.

 I wish it could. I wish she will know the truth, realize what was happened, and forget this problem. Yeah, I just called my grandma, she is in Bogor now. I don't know when will she go home. I miss her so much. Since she went Umrah, I lost a person that always hear my stories, give me the wise words, giving me money (*grin*), and all the good she gave to me. I MISS HER.

I found out the special things in a heavy rain. I just realize that, in my age now, the people changed. The good  people, some of them turned bad. Yeah, some of them, who I thought they were kind, turned back and be mad at me, without a clear reason. The bad persons (I said it 'persons', not 'people', their number is not much), who I thought they were not good, turned good. They started to greets me, talked to me, and others which make me think "They treated me good, don't they?". It's so confusing to think how could it come.

It's all fair. Just like what my mom said, "Don't be too close to a good person, and don't be too rude to the bad one." The philosophy of life is 'change'. Change, from an embrio to a perfect baby, then turned to happy kid, next change to a fragile teenager, turned again to be a mature adult, and finally you changed to an elderly. If a person doesn't 'change', they were never survive. And that the right thing, change. I have to change every thing inside myself to survive, based on my environment now.

But sometimes, it's hard to changed yourself to make a good condition for fit yourself in your environment. And that's the challenge. We have to be strong to face it. And that's why God give us those problems. We gonna be stronger if we could face it.

I'm not an oracle freak, but my fortune cookie knows me well.

Only Hope-Mandy Moore.

There's no doubt for me to prayed so many times a day, going far away, if you were mine. I promised, I'll be better.

There's a song that's inside of my soul. 
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again 
I'm awake in the infinite cold. 
But you sing to me over and over and over again. 

So, I lay my head back down. 
And I lift my hands and pray 
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours 
I know now you're my only hope. 

Sing to me the song of the stars. 
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again. 
When it feels like my dreams are so far 
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again. 

So I lay my head back down. 
And I lift my hands and pray 
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours 
I know now, you're my only hope. 

I give you my destiny. 
I'm giving you all of me. 
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am 
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back. 

So I lay my head back down. 
And I lift my hands and pray 
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours 
I pray, to be only yours 
I know now you're my only hope. 

hmmmmm, hmmmmm, oooooh. 

The Truth.

"I did not think Hayley’s version told the whole story, at least from our perspective and hopefully this will explain a bit about why we are leaving."-Josh Farro on joshnfarro.blogspot.com. 

It just the same with me. But it would be "I didn't think what they think happened in reality, at least from my perspective and I hope what I'm gonna write now will explain everything." Yeah, I wanna explain everything happened in the past, in this week exactly. I'm confirm it firmly that I won't blame anyone here, I won't proof that I'm right too, but I just want to explain it clearly, without emotion. There's no one right and there's no one wrong in this case. Don't brought your emotion please.


Okay, I just want to go directly to the point. I've ever tweet this :

And Fikram responded about it (I can't found the tweet, but I'm not trying to tell lies!). He never mentioned the name, and in the beginning I don't know who is the B*TCH he was meant about. 

As time goes on and their problem goes up, I expected it as Emil. Then everything was seems clear to me when Ader and I sharing our stories in mosque. Ader said Fikram and Fahrezi ever told about a mock for Emil, and I think that mock was that word, B*TCH, and my will is : I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR, BETWEEN "THE PEOPLE AROUND YOGA" AND EMIL, BY SAYING THE TRUTH TO EMIL.

I knew it was my fault to said the mock to Emil before clarifying it, but the reason I told it is not to make Fikram's image bad, but I just want to make Emil realize : the boys are careless, if the boys has 'labelled' you with something such as that, it means there was something wrong about you. And I was said it perfectly to Emil, without any word passed.

But unexpectedly, Emil accepted as a work to humbled her pride, and she was totally angry with it. And that's all. About Fahrezi, I just knew it from Ader, I swear!

That's what I'm going to say when Fitri asked me the truth. Sorry I forgot whether it was a tweet or DM, sorry I was saying it as a DM, sorry if my good will make your image bad. I just saying the truth.

Sorry, I realized that I shouldn't have told her the mocks. Sorry I was wrong to expect that Emil will accepted it as a reflection. Sorry I can't explain it clearly to Fitri and Sinta, sorry to makes you angry, sorry for my misunderstanding about the B*TCH, sorry for makes all you cry, sorry for the mock you were received, but for your information, I got it too. Me, not my class.

Sorry for everything. Sorry for my low-intelligence brain who was wrong to translate the tweet. SORRY, if you're still hate me, it's okay. I just want to tell the truth. Thank you if you're forgive me. This is my complete explanation.

Yeah, it's my explanation.