Ha ha ha.
Laughing
The only thing I can do right now.
The only thing that seems right.
Seeing those time had passed.
Seeing someone else did the thing I was supposed to.


A little regret comes across my mind
Why didn't I try harder?
Why didn't I push it a little more?
Why didn't I go a little further?
Why didn't I make it happen right away?
Why didn't I change myself to be something I was not to chase it?
Why didn't I do something wrong to get it?


Why didn't I get it?


In the middle of the lonely night,
I bowed my head.
Cried in the deep lonely night,
That witnessed my remorse.
I raised my hand.
Asking the best for me,
What I am supposed to be,
Where I am supposed to be,
When the good thing will comes.


I stopped my crying.
I thanked God for all it takes to make me becoming here
I thanked God for a life that I got.
I prayed for myself and family to make us become the lucky one.


Suddenly I heard something.
The peaceful voice appears unexpectedly.
The voice that calm me down.
It said, "Don't worry. I have something better for you in store."

One of the Dream is becoming true : Masuk HUBUNGAN INTERNASIONAL

It's been like a decade I didn't post anything here. Gosh, this blog is dusty -_-

Well, I definitely know it's too late to tell you guys about this. Since I got this news a month ago, I cannot  keep myself from thinking about my future, and another important thing : "What I really want to be when I grow up?" This three days, after finishing those exams that are going to kill me, I've been searching for the colleges that I really fit in. But at least, I have something to hold on :

"I DO PASSED THE TEST OF GETTING SCHOLARSHIP IN PRESIDENT UNIVERSITY AS INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS STUDENT!"

The whole letter


I am absolutely happy about this, but this is where the nightmare happens.


I've joined the psychological test about 'minat dan bakat' in my school. Since I don't know what I want to be in future, I decided to join this test in order to capture what I really am, and what talent does I have in myself. Well, I wrote all the major that interest me, including international relations. After doing all the test and waiting for a week, the result came out and it said I am not suitable to be an International Relations student. It even suggest me to join medical faculty, which is also my interest since my mom is a doctor. Seeing my mom doing all her works and we even have a microscope right by my side now on, that little wish comes across my mind, but I don't really love it. Some people might say being a doctor is a pleasure way to become rich. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT. Bullshit I hate the most. My family are not even rich.

Shit, I've been going out of topic. Let's go back to it.

Well, because of the result, I decided to meet the psychologist itself to make sure about all the things. She said, I'm the type of person who is creative, but I cannot control my own emotion. Yeah, that's definitely true. So, she doesn't recommend me to join the International Relations.

And now, I get the scholarship in International Relations. Oh my God, I even don't know what to feel. Should I do the test of med faculty? Or I just have to join International Relations?



I don't know.